Stay over at rong's hse with jun agn.. Haha.. Were slacking ard till 1am then we started our mahjong.. Went for steamboat dinner at Marina South b4 going bk to rong's hse.. Rong's bf was there.. He refuse to go home cuz he wanted to play mahjong!! Haiz.. No choice la.. But cuz we start late, so he did nt join us.. Haha.. Then played till 4+ den went to slp.. Woke up at 9+, as usual, has Mac breakfast.. Then mahjong agn!! We r like mahjong freaks.. But i guess it's really fun.. Time will juz pass by very fast while playing.. But how i wish i got more mahjong "kakis"..
Seems like i dun hav a group of frens.. All my frens r like scattered ard.. Always either 1-1 or 1-2... Whr can i find frens which will go hav fun in big grp?? I would like to hav tt once in a while.. Haiz.. Need to widen my social circle, but duno how lehz.. Im so so introvert, so damn difficult to try and be an extrovert!!
Oh well, bk to the topic exhauseted.. Im feeling so damn tired nw... Nt enuff slp, nt enuff water and nt enuff love.. Haha.. Haven been slping too well for the past 1 mth or so.. Been chilling out everyday, if nt is stay in for OT.. Nt tt i dun wanna go home but tt few hrs is sometimes hard to pass.. I rather stay outside.. But i got so many things to do at home.. I need to tidy up my rm, need to transfer my stuff to a new cupboard, need to watch all the video tapes, need to watch the vcds, etc.. So many things to do, yet all i do is juz lie on my bed all day long and rot away.. Only 1 word to describe, LAZY!! I am super duper lazy.. Everyone knows tt... I shld really try nt to b so lazy, but i am juz 2 lazy to try.. Haha.. Contradicting...
Sometimes, i still miss him.. I wonder if he will.. But i am giving up already.. The future looks so bleak.. N i start to tink in a rational way.. He's really nt worth me waiting and even if i cld wait till he comes bk, it doesn't mean forever.. I know he will leave agn, one day.. I duno why this relationship is so weird but that's the truth.. Jay zhou got one song, An Jing, I like the last sentence which is "Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni, Shi yin wei wo tai ai ni"... I nv knew wat the meaning is only until recently.. I was listening while on my way to work, suddenly, i had so much feeling for tt sentence.. it actually meant tt i will try to give u up, it's becuz i love u 2 much".. It's so true.. If u dun even love tt person tt much, u dun even hav to try to give up.. When u r trying so so hard, it means the love is so deep.. I cant tink of any reason y i could put in so much feelings in tis r/s.. But i guess i really did my best.. Gave my all.. But end up getting so hurt.. I duno if this would affect my future r/s, but i guess more or less, it will.. I hope i would find someone who loves me more than i love him.. I dun wanna love more.. I wan to be love more.. Haiz...
