Finally, my body broke down yesterday... Had a full day of fever.. Feeling damn weak all day long.. No appetite at all.. Only ate some rice and few spoonful of noodles.. And guess what, when i came back to office today, I was shocked to see myself in the mirror! I actually slim down quite abit.. But I know it wont last too long, cuz once I recover, my appetite will be back.. Haiz... Actually I shldn't be in office today but I do not wish to earn lesser, therefore, I drag myself to work.. Still feeling a little feverish and drowsy but still can cope.. It's all becuz of money.. Haiz.. Oh ya, forgot to mention that my last day at work would be on the 21st July 2006!! Then im off this crap place.. Haha..

Mango is having sales now and I bought a top just now.. Haha.. Yeah, I know Im nt feeling well, yet I can still shop.. That's women! And later I might be going for more after work! Haha.. Cuz i wanna get the shorts, it looks really nice and affordable.. Hehe.. But I will hav to curb shopping, cuz i need to save up for studies, if not, darling wil start to nag again... :( He's quite a naggie!! But I'm slowly getting used to it.. Haha..

Alright, have a good weekend everyone! Hope I'll spend this wkend happily and peacefully...

Yup, as promised, photos of the trip to Phuket.. Took me more than a month to upload.. Haha.. Was just too lazy.. And I'm actually stealing office hours to do this.. Haha.. I'm just so bad!! But who cares?! Alright, enjoy the pictures!! :)


~Our plane to Phuket~

~View from the airplane~

~Entrance to Karon Beach Resort~

~View from our room~

~View of the pool from our room~ *miss swimming in the pool...

~Sunset at Karon Beach~ *I was totally amazed when I saw it!!

~A Rock on the Beach~ *taken during low tide..

~Photo taking with one of the "woman" after the Simon Cabaret Show~

~On Karon Beach~ *one of my favourite pic!

~About to rain~ *scary huh!!

~On our way back from Kata Beach~ *see my oily/sticky face?! It's scorching hot!

~Rainbow~ *early morning while having breakfast!

~On our way for our snorkelling trip~

~On the Speedboat to Phi Phi Island~

~Our 1st spot for snorkeling~

~Us in our Snorkelling "suit"~ *so shiok!!

~In the Restaurant~ *taken while waiting for our complimentary dinner!!

~The Cheeky Us~ *taken on a sunny afternoon at Karon Beach

There'll be more to come.. That is after I've uploaded them.. Haha.. Stay Tuned Folks!! ;P

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'"

How sweet.. Got this quote from a website.. Is there such a guy? When I read that, I thot of my guy.. He seems to have done the things mentioned.. Let's see..

- Before and after I knew him, I was smone that was attractive to him. He kept telling me I'm beautiful. I wasn't proud of that, instead I was really touched.. He calls me beautiful, it's really incomparable to what others say..

- I haven hang up on him yet, but each time the phone drops off, he calls back. But I ignore him, heartlessly..

- We weren't under the stars but he loves to listen to my heartbeat.. As if it's telling him something..

- He would put me to slp like a mother would to her baby.. He looks at me, pat me lightly and watch me slowly go into a deep slp..

- He kisses my forehead, often than not..

- He brings me to town even if I'm just in shorts and t-shirt and he says I look good..

- He holds my hand even if friends and family are around, all the time..

- He insists seeing me without make up and when he does, he says I still look as pretty without it..

- He reminds me of his care, concern and how much he treasure this relationship every now and then.. Even during quarrels.. He says I'm his lucky star..

- His fren told him I would be the one for him.. And he says he tinks so too..

Thou he seems to have really did those stuff, but does it mean he is the one? I'm not sure.. What do you tink?

If I decide to give up, can I still move on?

It's a tough question.. But wat if I dun do it now and let it drag longer? Won't it be worse? Logically, it will be cuz I've been thru it.. But is this the only way out? No.. Definitely not.. It's just me.. Being the stubborn me, I want things to go my way.. Not that I dun wanna compromise, but I find it difficult and forceful. Y? Y am I not understanding enuff? Wat is wrong with me? Why must all of them realise the same thing after some time? It's scary and eerie.. Problems lies with me. I duno how to solve it. Nothing I do seems to work. How? How? How? U know wat, I shld have stayed to my decision months ago.. I shld nt get swayed away. I know nothing good will come out of it, y insist on trying? I really dun understand myself.. Anyone can understand me? I doubt so... Once again, I wan to use work to numb myself... But I can't do it.. I'm feeling terrible... I can't help feeling miserable, teary, stress-out... It's really nothing big.. Nothing, really... But I'm highly affected.. I really duno what and where things went wrong.. But at this point of time, I feel like "getting it" and I might be free of everything.. Fren said I was crazy and I think I am. If only I could go bonkers now, I really wan.. It's too much for me to handle.. And I'm losing it.. I can't rely on anyone.. I'm on my own once again.. I wan the numb feeling to be back again, so that I could carry on.. Thou pathetic it might sound, it's the best way out now...

It has been a very packed and busy week with activities and lotsa things happening.. Work is as usual but for the past 1 week, I did not stay late at all. Quite amazing! But well, I dun see a need to slog my life for them... And I'm leaving.. Very soon and quite sudden.. Made plans to leave like end of July or even mid aug but now, even before July end, i'll have to leave. I need like about a wk to do some personal stuff... And I'll hav to submit resignation like tomorrow?! Really wasn't part of my plan, but nevertheless, I'm gonna do it!

For the whole of last wk, it was either chilling out with frens in the evening, or if not, it's with darling looking for present for the nephew. And on sat, I finally had a chance to slack whole day at home! But I nv did get enuff slp. Haha.. Wat a pig ya?! And sunday was at darling's sis place.. Well, things did not go smoothly as planned but I still make it there in the end.. Seeing how close they are as a family, I kinda envy but at the same time felt quite "sticky" about it.. Mixed feelings I guess... And Monday, today, I went for my SIM talk. I find the talk kinda interesting thou it's just talking about the course schedule and subjects but I am really looking forward to start studying.. The 1st time sitting in a lecture after graduation.. The feeling is just so "good"! I felt like a student, once again... But as irony it can be, I really enjoy feeling that way! And I can't wait to start going to lectures, tutorials and doing homework! Haha... On my side, I'm a happy person today! With a very good view of my future and very proud of myself cuz I finally know wat I want in my life! But on the other side, darling's family is having quite a difficult and hard time now... Well, things happen and let's hope it won't be something bad.. And for me, I feel for him, and I know I shld try and understand his situation and not make things worse for him.. I really hope I can do.. Cuz it's kinda like a sudden lost of attention, concern, care and time.. I know it'll be over soon.. I just need to bear with it and be understanding! As for myself, I duno how I shld face it if one day, I have to deal with the same problem.. I guess I wont be able to face it as strong as his family does.. But to be positive, let's hope both his family and myself would be fine..

Alright, gonna wash up and go and be a pig! Shall update soon, hopefully with the Phuket pictures! Still trying to upload on Shutterfly.. Haha..