Haiz.. I thought it's gonna be easy. But I was so wrong. It will not be easy and probably might be very very difficult. More obstacles to come, more disagreements, more people involve, more voices heard, more things to plan, more cork-ups, etc etc etc... It only makes me less keen to move on, less interested to research, less excited to plan..... I wonder how I should take it. I'm a stubborn person, everyone who knows me well knows that. I have my say, my stand, my views, my thoughts. Yes, selfish is a better word to describe me. Stubborn and selfish, I should jolly well detach myself away from all of them. I'm more of a harm than good. Yeah, I should have known.... I really should.

But I thought I should be positive. I thought things might just go the way I wanted it to. I really thought so! But I have never thought that there are always 2 sides of human. All along I thought they won't be a problem, because they seem so easy-going, things shouldn't be too difficult or complicated when it comes to them. So wrong, very wrong, super wrong.... Probably this is a big issue, that's why people tend to behave different from usual, but isn't it a bit too different? Maybe I'm not in the position to comment as I don't live with them nor know them too well, but it's affecting me. It's affecting so badly that I'm reconsidering my decision. Because I would think I am better off alone.

But the irony thing is, one actually told me to be happy. Just be happy and don't have to care what others say. True, very true! Totally agree. But it doesn't seems that one actually practise what he preach. Or maybe I haven reach the stage where I can see this. But if I can't even overcome the current obstacle, how can I ever reach that stage?! Haha... Complicated...

I really should get my mind off these and concentrate on exams... But knowing me, I just can't leave things hanging.. Because it'll just 'hang' on my mind too!

Anyway, things aside... I've just 'kill' 1 paper today! Yes! 2 more to go.. Low morale but still can go on.. Haha.. Macro is really a killer. I was so stress that I really din want to go for exams. But still, why waste money? Maybe I can just pass??? I really do hope so, but chances are low....... :( But I still hope for a miracle to happen! Cuz macro is changing syllabus next yr, I really do not wish to retake it cuz I heard it's tougher.. Well well, no point brooding over it since it's over! Just gotta wait for results.

Next paper is on next thurs. CF! Haha.. Haven started anything on this. But I shall keep the momentum to study probably from tonight onwards, do not wish to have another blow.. Wish me luck...