I've left Citibank, finally.. It's for the good of my future.. I hope! Thinking back, I was always telling people how much I wanna leave but when the day comes, it was different.. I missed going to work, seeing the good and bad colleagues, tinking hard about what to eat for lunch, go shopping ard after lunch, go back to office and try to rush thru work that can never be finished, work OT, chat on the phone when bosses nt ard, the 10cent coffee, the jokes, the anger, the frustration, the laughter, the scoldings, the brainstorming sessions, meetings, etc, etc... Memories, good or bad, will always be with me... I hope they will remember me as a good team player and colleague...
One of my manager actually spend quite alot on my farewell gift.. I was really touched and shocked.. 1st, she gave me a bouquet of flowers, then a very cute notebook, $50 Tangs voucher and treated me to lunch @ Sizzler... Thou at times, I may show them very bad attitude at work, nevertheless, we laugh it off at the end of the day and I saw their appreciation towards me.. Haiz... I shall not think about it and begin my "new journey" in life...
Sch will start very soon! Wonder how things will be... The uncertainy feeling is back again.. Cuz I would have to look for a part time job and cope with studies and work.. And to manage my finances well, in order to survive and nt get naggings too often.. Hehe.. Wonder if I'll be able to adapt and do well... Haiz.. I juz dun like to adapt to new environment... I'll really take quite a while.. Sian ah!!
And nt sure if I'll have time for my beh beh.. Muz really learn time management very well... But beh beh, if u happen to read this, dun worry ya, we'll still get to meet up very often one k! And dun worry if I get to know new frens ya?! Things between us will not change so easily, ok?! ;P
Why do people expect? Is it so that we will do a better job? Or is it just to make oneself happy?
You know, there can be arguments over this question.. If you dun expect, you will not do well. But if you expect, your expectation might be too high to reach. So how? What is moderate? How do you define that? It's realli nt easy... Everyone has their own expectation and way of looking at things.. How does 2 person with very different personality compromise HAPPILY?? See the caps lock?! Yes, happily.. Without feeling all shitty or forced after compromising... I really wanna learn.. I felt that compromising is kinda difficult for me.. I know it's my problem cuz I am too strong-headed and stubborn... I feel like a man at times.. Cuz I seldom see girls around me behaving like that! I really do have very very bad temper... I really wonder how my family can tolerate me and live with me till today. Sometimes, I really salute them! And it's only recently that I realise that I've always been the fierce "queen" at home.. Even my mum has to give way to me.. And all my siblings too... Why do I say that? Cuz I heard it from my sister.. Surprising, she actually understands me quite alot!
So wat about me being the fierce "queen"? - Whenever I'm not happy or feeling sian, I won't answer them when they ask a question. They can be standing rite in front of me or purposely enter my room juz to ask me smth, and i'll just ignore them.. - I'll be super unhappy and chase whoever that is in my room out even if they juz wanna watch tv in the room with me.. - I'll not lend anyone of them my stationery or any items on my table to them. But it's also partly becuz they tend to lose whatever I lend them!! - I'll buy lotsa titbits and instant noodle and keep it in my personal drawers in my room and not tell or allow them to eat.. - If I were to label my stuff in the refrigerator with my name, nobody dares to touch it! And in fact, my elder sis will always use my name and tell my younger sis that it belongs to me. And she will not dare to touch it!
I'm really touched.. My merchant sent me an e-card wishing me all the best for my studies...... I really felt like crying when I receive it.. They are just so so sweet... Aw.. Cannot make it man... They ware really thoughtful.. I only told them I was leaving like hours ago, and in like the next hour, I got the card! You see, it pays to be nice. There are still people out there who appreciates me. They make me feel as if I'm really someone who is of importance to the team.. Thou I'm only my mgrs' support, but at the moment when I read the card, I really felt that I was someone great!! I hav another colleague, who I only got to talk to him very recent. He wanted to treat me to lunch nx monday!! I hav nt really work with him nor help him b4, yet he wants to treat me to lunch... I really dun tink I shld let him pay.. But my colleague says it's ok.. Cuz he is someone who chooses ppl to give treats to, so i'm the "chosen one".. Haha.. My colleague says maybe he sees me as a nice person.. Oh well, watever it is, Im really touched by all these little gestures from the people I work with...
I tink I'll miss this place... Cuz I'm feeling it already... :(
It's a short day today! But i'm still in office.. Going off at the same time.. Gonna go buy dinner and head hm... Had quite a peaceful week at work. Probably I'm leaving, so i'm left out for quite a few things.. Good i guess, at least i get to rush my stuff..
Today, they interviewed 2 candidates.. 1st one wasn't up to their expectation. 2nd one had the relevant experience but they are nt sure if she is comfortable with paperwork. One of my boss actually said that my interview w them was good. And she was actually impressed by me.. Haha.. Felt good when I heard that.. But well, interview, you just gotta do some reading and be prepared.. That's what I did.. Read the book which taught interviewing skills.. Haha.. Smth like a cheatsheet to me but it's kinda helpful!! Actually, im kinda sad to leave.. Nt tt this is a good work place, but since I started working, this is the only place which I could still get along with everyone.. But of course, I did put in quite abit of effort to maintain this r/s and it's really nt easy.. Bankers are known to be cunning ppl and esp in my wk plc.. Sometimes when i tink back, I can't believe I could actually survive for so long in this environment. Cuz it's all about bootlicking, fighting, pushing responsibilities, faking and many many other "survival" skills. And in fact, i grew to get excited and interested in working in this type of environment.. Probably it's really a challenge and I shld really give it a shot while I'm still young!!
Enuff abt work..
Met up with Nad and Diyana yesterday... Main focus was on Diyana.. She is facing a real difficult phase of her life. Why do I say that? Cuz i've been thru it myself.. Looking at her yesterday, I saw a reflection of myself more than 1 yr ago.. Exact same expression. Questions and situations she's in was somehow or rather similar.. I seriously feel how hurt she was.. And there was really nothing either Nad or myself could do to help. All we can do is to be there to listen and advice, listen and support, listen and be there to accompany her and the cycle will keep on repeating itself... Haiz... It's really difficult to stand up after this great fall but if you are able to do that, u will be the bravest person on earth. That's what I feel... And I am proud of myself that I fell badly but still manage to stand up and live a happy life. I'm sure, one day, she will be able to do that 2! Really wish her all the best!!
Well, I hope all who is currently facing problems with relationships, will be strong and learn to face reality. Life definitely has more to offer, it's just waiting for us to discover them, so dun waste it dwelling abt the past and people who are nt worth it! ;P
