Super cold.. Forgot my jacket.. Am freezing in the damn office!! Did not go lunch cuz juz wasn't in the mood.. Am having very bad temper for the past few days.. Muz be the PMS!! But it hasn't happen in a long long time already.. Duno wat triggered it.. Am juz unhappy with every little thing.. Had vent my anger on the phone with nad and weiling, but doesn't help much.. Irritating!!
Maybe tt someone is the cause of it! I hate it when i get the messages.. I duno wat to do.. Reply or not? I want to but I know I'm not ready yet.. So I have to force myself not to reply.. Weiling say, just reply if you want to.. But I know I will be sad if I do so.. And I really do not want to start all over again.. Haiz.. Why can't you just leave without a trace? I guess I would be better.. And I do not want to say it to your face cuz in the first place, you were the one who wanted to go...
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
Had a sweet and weird dream yesterday.. Dreamt of both of us.. Thou it was only the process, it was so nice and sweet.. For a moment, i thot it was for real.. It's definitely a nice feeling! But dream and reality is always the opposite.. So I know it will never happen.. But after this dream, I realise, maybe I could really start anew.. Of course I do hope I can.. But how and where to start? I really duno..
Recently, "life w/o a meaning" feeling is getting stronger and stronger.. Getting super sian with life.. Everyday the same thing, same ppl, same process.. No excitement at all.. Loneliness everywhere.. How to deal with it? I duno.. Am just losing it.. As much TV as I can get, it doesn't drive away the devil.. Haiz.. Sad life.. How much longer should I spend my life w/o happiness? Am I only suited to find happiness in dreams? If so, I would rather slp my life away...
Going off soon! Trying to kill some time in office as it's an early day today and everyone's in the holiday mood but the damn system is down!! Hehe.. Meeting weiling later to slack.. Haha.. Oh ya, wanna tell everyone out there reading this tt i hav taiwan shows for rental!! Hehe.. I have Tou Tian Huan Ri, Zhan Shen and Wang Zi Bian Qing Wa (Coming Soon!).. Let me know if anyone of u wanna watch kk!!
Oh yeah, i can go off already!! The system is up!! Update soon!!
