It's a tough question.. But wat if I dun do it now and let it drag longer? Won't it be worse? Logically, it will be cuz I've been thru it.. But is this the only way out? No.. Definitely not.. It's just me.. Being the stubborn me, I want things to go my way.. Not that I dun wanna compromise, but I find it difficult and forceful. Y? Y am I not understanding enuff? Wat is wrong with me? Why must all of them realise the same thing after some time? It's scary and eerie.. Problems lies with me. I duno how to solve it. Nothing I do seems to work. How? How? How? U know wat, I shld have stayed to my decision months ago.. I shld nt get swayed away. I know nothing good will come out of it, y insist on trying? I really dun understand myself.. Anyone can understand me? I doubt so... Once again, I wan to use work to numb myself... But I can't do it.. I'm feeling terrible... I can't help feeling miserable, teary, stress-out... It's really nothing big.. Nothing, really... But I'm highly affected.. I really duno what and where things went wrong.. But at this point of time, I feel like "getting it" and I might be free of everything.. Fren said I was crazy and I think I am. If only I could go bonkers now, I really wan.. It's too much for me to handle.. And I'm losing it.. I can't rely on anyone.. I'm on my own once again.. I wan the numb feeling to be back again, so that I could carry on.. Thou pathetic it might sound, it's the best way out now...
